DEAR OPRAH

The following letter to Oprah was in response to a contest she was having called, "Wildest Dreams."

photo by Alan Light

It was inspired by Tina Turner's rise to stardom despite incredible odds. Oprah invited women from all walks of life to describe the obstacles they have overcome in order to achieve their wildest dreams. This is my letter:

NAME INTERRUPTED

For a very short time, I sat and delivered on radio, (CKLU in Sudbury, ON).  I concluded each segment with: "For Sit and Deliver this is Shannon O'Toole." But I dropped the O'Toole, when I dropped the tool. 

Then I considered breaking into the select group of people known only by their first name, in order to close my segments.



People like Cher, Madonna, and Yanni (not a real link, I wouldn't do that to you), came to mind immediately. 

But I thought this could potentially be a problem if I were to ever make it big in Ireland.  An Irishman once asked me how it felt to be named after an airport.  I told him I was handling it much better than my half brother Heathrow O'Hare since he never seemed to know if he was coming or going. Then I thanked Mr. Ass O'Hole for his concern.

Next I considered using initials to complement my first name.  I could borrow the first initial of my ex-husband's last name to become Shannon O.  But that had a familiar ring to it.  Of course!  It had already been done by Jackie. O Jackie! You had everything.  Did you really have to buy a vowel?

Then, I tried to put the O before my name and sign off as O Shannon.  But this too had been done.  First by the writer O Henry, followed by the chocolate bar. (I just figured out why I crave chocolate whenever I read The Gift of the Magi).

I needed a fresh approach to using initials - to go where no one had gone before.  I placed an O in front of my name and an O after my name and signed off as O Shannon O.  But this seemed to have a hypnotic effect on my producer who played my sign-off on a continuous loop until the playback board burst into flames.

Just when I was about to give up on the whole idea it occurred to me to use the last initial of my maiden name, O'Connor.  I would sign off as Shannon O...but this had a familiar ring...

So, I quit radio.



Recommended Listening: MacArthur Park by Richard Harris - (the switchboard really lit up when I played this song during my on-air segment - unfortunately all the callers were demanding it be removed from the airways immediately).

Recommended Reading: The Gift of the Magi by O. Henry

Recommend Viewing: Pirate Radio

HOW MY FATHER BUILT THE SUDBURY ARENA

A lot of hockey fans ask me to tell them the story about how my father built the Sudbury Arena.  I tell them it begins, like most great stories do, in a cornfield in Warren, Ontario.

WELCOME TO THE INAUGURAL POST OF SIT AND DELIVER

Essentially this blog will deliver stand-up material from a sitting position.  You may ask, "Why sit and deliver?"  I would answer,  "Why stand and deliver when the option to sit and deliver is so readily available?"

Frankly, I'm surprised this phenomenon hasn't swept the entire industry. The sit-down humorist enjoys many advantages over the stand-up. One of the most obvious is the comfort factor.  Having led a full and rich life I have had many opportunities to both sit and stand.