She is teetering on the edge of technology - she links to my blog through Twitter (after a year she is still an egghead and no one has heard a peep ne'er a tweet from her), and then she texts me to comment on my blog.
After reading my Money Roll post, where I dove into some light toilet humour, she suggested I write about the time I was suffering from food poisoning because it makes her laugh just thinking about it - (perhaps I should reconsider this BFF title altogether).
I am entertaining the idea of providing a sample of this highly personal and extremely embarrassing situation on this public forum, but the question is, WHY WOULD I?
We have been friends for a very long time.
We lived in the same neighbourhood for a while, attended the same elementary, high school and university and we travelled to Europe together (but on separate flights). We have been through a lot of shit together.
We were once browbeaten by a complete stranger to have our picture taken in front of the Tower of London with a parrot perched on our shoulders. Besides the fact that this picture made no sense on a historical, aesthetic, or on any level whatsoever, we paid this complete stranger five pounds each to have him mail us the pictures. We did this because he said we didn't believe he would mail them to us. That was 35 years ago, and nothing!
My friend pretends to believe me when I tell her I'm going to finish the Hart to Hart script I said I started over 30 years ago. And even though the series ended in 1984, there's a glimmer of hope in her eyes when I say it can still be done as a movie of the week in which the Harts solve a caper in the nursing home where they reside.
Her interest, however, is not as friendshippy as it seems - she has been told by some, but not by me, that she looks like "a young Stephanie Powers, but with greener eyes." She is hoping a movie of the week will have people talking about the similarity once again.
 |
| Hey is that Stephanie Powers playing Pole Position? |
The point is best friends should know each other inside out, and speaking of inside out, that brings me back to her request re: blogging about the food poisoning incident.
In a nutshell, after suspecting I had been food poisoned, I contacted the public health unit and they provided me a stool sample collection kit and said someone would follow up with me in a day or so.
When the public health official arrived at my house he asked to see my form, which I took to mean, he wanted to see how "IT" formed. I handed the "matter" over to him in the white (yes, white) paper bag that had been provided to me.
As it turned out THAT wasn't what he wanted to see AT ALL! He wanted to see the paperwork (the form) I filled out. Boy did I have salmonella on my face! Let me tell you, there is nothing in the Miss Manners book of etiquette that will get you out of the situation gracefully.
When I asked my friend what makes her laugh so hard whenever she thinks about that story she said, "Imagine just being handed a bag of shit out of nowhere."
My friend has now replaced her Twitter egghead icon with French fries and has since been commenting on American politics when, out of nowhere, she really got IT handed to her when someone called her a "bag of shit" on this highly public forum.
My BFF is right. It is hilarious!
Recommended Viewing: Dogma (mostly because of the shit demon)
Recommended Reading: Love in the Time of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Recommended Listening: Bad by U2 - because it's good shit
Recommended Viewing: Dogma (mostly because of the shit demon)
Recommended Reading: Love in the Time of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Recommended Listening: Bad by U2 - because it's good shit
No comments:
Post a Comment