MY OSCAR ACCEPTANCE SPEECH

Thank You Keanu!
Photo of Keanu Reeves by Caroline Bonarde Ucci

First of all, I would like to thank my speech writing teacher for helping me to prepare for this auspicious occasion by putting a heavy emphasis on Chapter 8 (Writing For A Special Occasion) of our textbook, Building A Speech.


I really wasn't expecting this, but I have written down the names of all the little people behind the scenes. Without their contribution, this film would have been made by other people.

You know I never dreamed my simple story about a girl who harnesses the subatomic composition of particles, binding them with the fundamental properties of electromagnetism to alter gravity for a nanosecond in order to win a surfboarding competition, stood a chance of winning. But I guess great writing speaks for itself.

Before the music starts, I don't want to forget to thank my wonderful husband Keanu, for his undying devotion to me, his enduring admiration of me and his ability to never physically age (which always makes me look good).

This is for you babe because let's be honest, a Best Actor Oscar probably just isn't in the cards  - IT'S THEM, NOT YOU.

And one more thing, before the music swells into a crescendo when I think of truly great Oscar speeches - I'm thinking this is one of them.