In December, Oscar buzz begins and the names of actors and movies likely to earn nods from the Academy start being bandied about the entertainment airwaves.
Wednesday, 18 December 2013
Tuesday, 3 December 2013
A GOOD OLD FASHIONED IRI$H CHRISTMAS
Wicklow - Christmas Eve - 1995. I took my twin girls to visit Santa at the mall in Dun Laoghaire (pronounced Done Leary). I asked a man named John (pronounced John) where Santa was and he pointed me in the general direction.
I began to look for a sign advertising "Santa's Village" and almost walked straight past the flashing blue neon lights inviting people into "Santa's Grotto."
I began to look for a sign advertising "Santa's Village" and almost walked straight past the flashing blue neon lights inviting people into "Santa's Grotto."
The Grotto Clause |
Tuesday, 19 November 2013
KITSCH CULTURE
Kitsch Heaven |
Sunday, 10 November 2013
THE SMARTEST - FASTEST - BESTEST ARCHIE COMIC BOOK PEN PAL...EVER
Wednesday, 26 June 2013
MY OSCAR ACCEPTANCE SPEECH
Wednesday, 19 June 2013
I WRITE THEREFORE I AM OR AM NOT AN IDIOT
I believe the old adage, I think, therefore I am, should be replaced with, I write, therefore I am. The act of thinking merely proves that you can think, not that you do think.
Trust me, I'm a genius. |
The act of writing leaves nothing to the imagination. It is tantamount to facing one's own intelligence, or lack of it, as the case may be, head on.
Consider Einstein's Theory of Relativity. Once he transcribed that he was hailed as a genius because we had a tangible means of proving it.
He took a risk and wrote down E=MC2. But it might have gone the other way. What if instead of writing E=MC2 he wrote E=MC Hammer?
Then we would all have the right to say, "Hey Einstein! You're an idiot and we can prove it."
Mind you he might have carved out a nice niche for himself as the first white rapper - I guess it's all relative.
Just remember, until you have written something down nobody can say for sure whether you're an idiot or not. They may highly suspect that you are but without that piece of paper what proof do they have?
I write, therefore I am. Now there's an adage to think about.
Recommended Reading: A Brief History Of Time by Stephen Hawking
Recommended Viewing: Arrested Development (Seasons 1 & 2)
Recommended Listening: Car Wash Blues by Jim Croce
Wednesday, 12 June 2013
Monday, 3 June 2013
HARPER AND ME AND THE MAN IN THE MIRROR
Before I settled on my present occupation, I toyed with the idea of entering the non-traditional workforce. I signed up for a course at a trades centre for women. I quickly began to realize that my definition of non-traditional varied somewhat from the other participants in the course.
Wednesday, 22 May 2013
DEAR OPRAH
The following letter to Oprah was in response to a contest she was having called, "Wildest Dreams."
It was inspired by Tina Turner's rise to stardom despite incredible odds. Oprah invited women from all walks of life to describe the obstacles they have overcome in order to achieve their wildest dreams. This is my letter:
photo by Alan Light |
It was inspired by Tina Turner's rise to stardom despite incredible odds. Oprah invited women from all walks of life to describe the obstacles they have overcome in order to achieve their wildest dreams. This is my letter:
Wednesday, 15 May 2013
NAME INTERRUPTED
For a very short time, I sat and delivered on radio, (CKLU in Sudbury, ON). I concluded each segment with: "For Sit and Deliver this is Shannon O'Toole." But I dropped the O'Toole, when I dropped the tool.
Then I considered breaking into the select group of people known only by their first name, in order to close my segments.
People like Cher, Madonna, and Yanni (not a real link, I wouldn't do that to you), came to mind immediately.
But I thought this could potentially be a problem if I were to ever make it big in Ireland. An Irishman once asked me how it felt to be named after an airport. I told him I was handling it much better than my half brother Heathrow O'Hare since he never seemed to know if he was coming or going. Then I thanked Mr. Ass O'Hole for his concern.
Next I considered using initials to complement my first name. I could borrow the first initial of my ex-husband's last name to become Shannon O. But that had a familiar ring to it. Of course! It had already been done by Jackie. O Jackie! You had everything. Did you really have to buy a vowel?
Then, I tried to put the O before my name and sign off as O Shannon. But this too had been done. First by the writer O Henry, followed by the chocolate bar. (I just figured out why I crave chocolate whenever I read The Gift of the Magi).
I needed a fresh approach to using initials - to go where no one had gone before. I placed an O in front of my name and an O after my name and signed off as O Shannon O. But this seemed to have a hypnotic effect on my producer who played my sign-off on a continuous loop until the playback board burst into flames.
Just when I was about to give up on the whole idea it occurred to me to use the last initial of my maiden name, O'Connor. I would sign off as Shannon O...but this had a familiar ring...
So, I quit radio.
Recommended Listening: MacArthur Park by Richard Harris - (the switchboard really lit up when I played this song during my on-air segment - unfortunately all the callers were demanding it be removed from the airways immediately).
Recommended Reading: The Gift of the Magi by O. Henry
Recommend Viewing: Pirate Radio
Then I considered breaking into the select group of people known only by their first name, in order to close my segments.
People like Cher, Madonna, and Yanni (not a real link, I wouldn't do that to you), came to mind immediately.
But I thought this could potentially be a problem if I were to ever make it big in Ireland. An Irishman once asked me how it felt to be named after an airport. I told him I was handling it much better than my half brother Heathrow O'Hare since he never seemed to know if he was coming or going. Then I thanked Mr. Ass O'Hole for his concern.
Next I considered using initials to complement my first name. I could borrow the first initial of my ex-husband's last name to become Shannon O. But that had a familiar ring to it. Of course! It had already been done by Jackie. O Jackie! You had everything. Did you really have to buy a vowel?
Then, I tried to put the O before my name and sign off as O Shannon. But this too had been done. First by the writer O Henry, followed by the chocolate bar. (I just figured out why I crave chocolate whenever I read The Gift of the Magi).
I needed a fresh approach to using initials - to go where no one had gone before. I placed an O in front of my name and an O after my name and signed off as O Shannon O. But this seemed to have a hypnotic effect on my producer who played my sign-off on a continuous loop until the playback board burst into flames.
Just when I was about to give up on the whole idea it occurred to me to use the last initial of my maiden name, O'Connor. I would sign off as Shannon O...but this had a familiar ring...
So, I quit radio.
Recommended Listening: MacArthur Park by Richard Harris - (the switchboard really lit up when I played this song during my on-air segment - unfortunately all the callers were demanding it be removed from the airways immediately).
Recommended Reading: The Gift of the Magi by O. Henry
Recommend Viewing: Pirate Radio
Wednesday, 8 May 2013
HOW MY FATHER BUILT THE SUDBURY ARENA
A lot of hockey fans ask me to tell them the story about how my father built the Sudbury Arena. I tell them it begins, like most great stories do, in a cornfield in Warren, Ontario.
Wednesday, 1 May 2013
WELCOME TO THE INAUGURAL POST OF SIT AND DELIVER
Essentially this blog will deliver stand-up material from a sitting position. You may ask, "Why sit and deliver?" I would answer, "Why stand and deliver when the option to sit and deliver is so readily available?"
Frankly, I'm surprised this phenomenon hasn't swept the entire industry. The sit-down humorist enjoys many advantages over the stand-up. One of the most obvious is the comfort factor. Having led a full and rich life I have had many opportunities to both sit and stand.
Frankly, I'm surprised this phenomenon hasn't swept the entire industry. The sit-down humorist enjoys many advantages over the stand-up. One of the most obvious is the comfort factor. Having led a full and rich life I have had many opportunities to both sit and stand.
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GOWAN'S GIRL
Well, Gowan has struck gold again! Yes, Lawrence Gowan, Canadian hitmaker from the 80's and 90's, of A Criminal Mind , and Yo...
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Essentially this blog will deliver stand-up material from a sitting position. You may ask, "Why sit and deliver?" I would answer...
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"Get ready for the Buddha Cannonball!" I have recently been walking a spiritual path and boy, are my arms tired.
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I often wonder how a perfectly respectable camera dodging introvert like me could have raised one of the all time great selfie posting man...
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Well, Gowan has struck gold again! Yes, Lawrence Gowan, Canadian hitmaker from the 80's and 90's, of A Criminal Mind , and Yo...
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A lot of hockey fans ask me to tell them the story about how my father built the Sudbury Arena . I tell them it begins, like most great st...
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I am quite proud to say I didn't get sucked into the whole Beanie Baby frenzy when they first arrived on the scene 20 years ago. ...
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I have been known to conduct some very important hands-on research every year on one of the most important dates of the calendar year -...
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“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.” -Friedrich Nietszche To the untrain...
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The following is a letter I transcribed that my sister received in 1971 from her Archie comic book pen pal. Vintage card from Jacqueli...
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The Super Stack - Sudbury's most famous large erection. I come from a town known mostly for its large erections.